|Me:||"When I go to work this morning, you're going to hang out with Grandpa."|
|Beth:||[age 4] "Oh man."|
|Me:||[innocently] "Yes, Grandpa is a man."|
|Beth:||"That's not the kind of man I mean."|
|Me:||"What do you mean? A short man? Tall man? Skinny man? Superman?"|
|Beth:||[giggling] "No, I mean 'oh man'!"|
|Me:||"Oman? That's a country in the Middle East. You've never been there."|
|Beth:||"No. I mean OH! MAN!"|
|Me:||"O-Man? I get it now. Like L-Man, M-Man, N-Man, O-Man! The Alphabet Men!"|
|Beth:||"That is not what I mean!"|
|Me:||[singing] "A-B-C-D-E-F-G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Man!"|
|Beth:||"I DO NOT MEAN THAT AT ALL! Daddy, you are weird and silly!"|
|Me:||"Yes, that's true."|
|Beth:||"Let's have this conversation all over again! ... Oh man."|
|Me:||"Yes, Grandpa is a man."|
|[repeat from the beginning, almost verbatim... five times]|
— Luke, age 8
|Luke:||[age 8] "Boys are stupid and girls are weird!"|
|Me:||"Boys are stupid? You realize you're talking about yourself, right?"|
|Luke:||"Yeah, I know. Boys are stupid because we keep forgetting how weird girls are!"|
Both my kids sing and talk to themselves while sitting in the toilet. Just now, as they are each in separate bathrooms — which are several rooms apart, and with the doors shut — they both shouted “Yee-Haw!” at exactly the same time.
My kids are weird.
|Luke:||[age 7] "Dreams are weird. It's like one half of my brain is the movie and the other half of my brain is the audience. I'm watching the dream and wondering what's going to happen next even though I'm in the dream and am making it up as I go. That's really weird."|
- Punch, punch, punch, it’s the punching of life, that’s what it’s all about.
- Hey, hey, bang, bang, I’m sitting on your head, that’s how you know I’m cool.
- It makes the butt say butt when the stink says stew, buzz in the booze and the what’s in the butt.
- There’s more to this than meets the eye, I’m gonna peel you like an orange.
- You might think I’m a foolish boy, you might think I’m weird, and sometimes it’s true.