April 22, 2013  |  9:32am
Me: "When I go to work this morning, you're going to hang out with Grandpa."
Beth: [age 4] "Oh man."
Me: [innocently] "Yes, Grandpa is a man."
Beth: "That's not the kind of man I mean."
Me: "What do you mean? A short man? Tall man? Skinny man? Superman?"
Beth: [giggling] "No, I mean 'oh man'!"
Me: "Oman? That's a country in the Middle East. You've never been there."
Beth: "No. I mean OH! MAN!"
Me: "O-Man? I get it now. Like L-Man, M-Man, N-Man, O-Man! The Alphabet Men!"
Beth: "That is not what I mean!"
Me: [singing] "A-B-C-D-E-F-G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Man!"
Beth: "I DO NOT MEAN THAT AT ALL! Daddy, you are weird and silly!"
Me: "Yes, that's true."
Beth: "Let's have this conversation all over again! ... Oh man."
Me: "Yes, Grandpa is a man."
[repeat from the beginning, almost verbatim... five times]
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Filed under: man men grandpa alphabet girls dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood child children childhood oh man grandparents weird silly
February 19, 2013  |  8:30am
"Someday, I’m going to invent a new word that helps grown-ups understand how weird kids think they are."

— Luke, age 8

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Filed under: word grownups growing adult adults child children kids dads fathers fatherhood weird strange language
November 11, 2012  |  9:39am
Boys are stupid
Luke: [age 8] "Boys are stupid and girls are weird!"
Me: "Boys are stupid? You realize you're talking about yourself, right?"
Luke: "Yeah, I know. Boys are stupid because we keep forgetting how weird girls are!"
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Filed under: boys girls gender relationships kids child children childhood weird stupid dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood forget remember
April 20, 2012  |  8:40am
Yee-haw!

Both my kids sing and talk to themselves while sitting in the toilet. Just now, as they are each in separate bathrooms — which are several rooms apart, and with the doors shut — they both shouted “Yee-Haw!” at exactly the same time.

My kids are weird.

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Filed under: kids weird bathroom toilet shout sing talk
March 9, 2012  |  9:00am
Dreams are weird
Luke: [age 7] "Dreams are weird. It's like one half of my brain is the movie and the other half of my brain is the audience. I'm watching the dream and wondering what's going to happen next even though I'm in the dream and am making it up as I go. That's really weird."
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Filed under: weird dreams night sleep movie audience kids child children childhood boys dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood
February 21, 2012  |  9:00am
Songs of the Boy, Part 3

More lyrics from the boy (per this and this).

  • Punch, punch, punch, it’s the punching of life, that’s what it’s all about.
  • Hey, hey, bang, bang, I’m sitting on your head, that’s how you know I’m cool.
  • It makes the butt say butt when the stink says stew, buzz in the booze and the what’s in the butt.
  • There’s more to this than meets the eye, I’m gonna peel you like an orange.
  • You might think I’m a foolish boy, you might think I’m weird, and sometimes it’s true.

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Filed under: singing songs music lyrics words booze butts weird foolish bang kids child children childhood improvisation parents dads parenting parenthood fathers fathering fatherhood improvised