and I’m the dad.

Beth:	[age 4] "I think you're trying to trick me."
Luke:	[age 8] "Me? Why would I try to trick you?"
Beth:	"Because you're Luke."
Luke:	"I'm your brother! I would never try to trick you."
Beth:	"Oh yes you would."
Luke:	"Have I ever tried to trick you before?"
Beth:	"Yes. A lot."
Luke:	"I can't believe you are telling me this. This really hurts my feelings."
Beth:	"I'm just telling the truth."
Luke:	"I can't believe you don't trust me. Mom, did your brother ever try to trick you when you were kids?"
Mom:	"Yes, all the time."
Luke:	"YOU ARE NOT HELPING."
Beth:	"You're a tricky one, mister!"

URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexjohN1t | SHARE:

Oh Yes I Would!

[Scene:	Beth, age 4, is breathlessly chasing Luke, age 7, around the house]
Luke:	"Stop, Beth! I said STOP!"
Me:	"Beth, I heard him say 'stop'. You should stop before somebody gets into trouble. Now, why are you chasing him?"
Luke:	"She's trying to pull down my shorts!"
Mom:	"Really? Beth wouldn't do that, would she?"
Beth:	[snappily] "OH YES I WOULD!!!"

URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexRKSeNn | SHARE:

Your side of the car

[Scene:	I'm driving while the kids are fighting in the back seat]
Me:	"Luke, keep your hands on /your/ side of the car!"
Luke:	"Yeah? Then she has to keep /her/ hands on /her/ side!"
Me:	"Yes, that's true. Beth, keep your hands on your side of the car too."
Luke:	[to Beth] "See?"
Beth:	"But, Daddy, his /voice/ is still on my side!"

URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexQTJERh | SHARE:

That part just grows back

[Scene:	Luke and Beth, ages 7 and 4, have recently been engaged in a dramatic argument involving a lot of shouting and crying]
Me:	"Good heavens! Sometimes I wish I could open up your heads and remove whatever part of your brain makes you irritate each other."
Luke:	"It's no use, Dad. That part just grows back."

URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexOgs4d0 | SHARE:

Making rainbows

[Scene:	Beth, age 3, is slowly moving about the room, holding a magic wand in one hand and making large, sweeping gestures with her arms; then Luke, age 7, charges into the room with a pair of toy swords]
Luke:	"Beth! C'mon, let's swordfight!"
Beth:	"No, Luke. I am making rainbows right now."
Luke:	"Well, hurry up. I want to fight."
Beth:	"We can fight when I'm done making rainbows."
Luke:	"Fine. You have two minutes! That's all!"
Beth:	"No, Luke! I need more than two minutes. You can't rush the rainbows!"

URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexI7FfWl | SHARE:

Remote control

[Scene:	Beth, age 3, is holding a toy and pointing it across the room at her 6-year-old brother, Luke]
Beth:	"There!"
Me:	"What are you doing?"
Beth:	"I'm remoting Luke."
Me:	"Remoting? Is that a remote control?"
Beth:	"Yes. I push this button and I can remote Luke." [demonstrates button]
Me:	"I may need to borrow that sometime. What happens when you push the button?"
Beth:	"I can make Luke talk like a robot."
Me:	"Hmm. Does your remote do anything else?"
Beth:	"Well, I can push this button, and this button, and this button."
Me:	"What do those buttons do?"
Beth:	"They all make him talk like a robot."
Me:	"Do you have one that makes him do anything else?"
Beth:	"No. I have to buy a new remote for that."

URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiex8WCg6W | SHARE:

1 of 2 Next page