April 22, 2013  |  9:32am
Me: "When I go to work this morning, you're going to hang out with Grandpa."
Beth: [age 4] "Oh man."
Me: [innocently] "Yes, Grandpa is a man."
Beth: "That's not the kind of man I mean."
Me: "What do you mean? A short man? Tall man? Skinny man? Superman?"
Beth: [giggling] "No, I mean 'oh man'!"
Me: "Oman? That's a country in the Middle East. You've never been there."
Beth: "No. I mean OH! MAN!"
Me: "O-Man? I get it now. Like L-Man, M-Man, N-Man, O-Man! The Alphabet Men!"
Beth: "That is not what I mean!"
Me: [singing] "A-B-C-D-E-F-G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Man!"
Beth: "I DO NOT MEAN THAT AT ALL! Daddy, you are weird and silly!"
Me: "Yes, that's true."
Beth: "Let's have this conversation all over again! ... Oh man."
Me: "Yes, Grandpa is a man."
[repeat from the beginning, almost verbatim... five times]
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Filed under: man men grandpa alphabet girls dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood child children childhood oh man grandparents weird silly
March 18, 2013  |  9:20am
[Scene: we're playing outside when Beth, age 4, stops to ask a question]
Beth: "Daddy, is today tomorrow?"
Me: "Um... no, today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow."
Beth: "I think today is tomorrow."
Me: "Then what was yesterday?"
Beth: "Yesterday was yesterday."
Me: "And yesterday, what was today?"
Beth: "Today!"
Me: "Now hold on. Yesterday, today was tomorrow. Today, today is today. Tomorrow, today will be yesterday."
Beth: "That is not how it is. You are just talking silly sense!"
Me: "Well, it does sound confusing, but today is still today."
[Scene: we return to playing. A few minutes later Beth gets stuck on something]
Beth: "Daddy! I need your help!"
Me: [innocently] "I'll be happy to help, sweetheart. Did you want me to help you today or tomorrow?"
Beth: "OH WOULD YOU STOP IT!"
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Filed under: time day today tomorrow yesterday nonsense sense silly help girls kids dads fathers fathering fatherhood child children childhood parents parenting parenthood
August 7, 2012  |  8:41am
What are my choices?
[Scene: the kids were having this conversation in the back of the car]
Beth: [age 4] "How many sheep can fit into a tree?"
Luke: [age 7] "What are my choices?"
Beth: "5, 9, or 80."
Luke: "9?"
Beth: "No."
Luke: "5?"
Beth: "No."
Luke: "80?"
Beth: "Yes, that's it!"
[both erupt in laughter]
Luke: "Oh YEAH! Daddy's in the house tonight and he's eating at home!"
Beth: "It's your turn."
Luke: "Okay. How many unicorns can fit into a port-a-potty?"
Beth: "What are my choices?"
Luke: "A million, a million, or a million."
Beth: "Hmm. A million?"
Luke: "Is that the first million, the second million, or the third?"
Beth: "The third?"
Luke: "No."
Beth: "The first?"
Luke: "No."
Beth: "It must be the second!"
Luke: "YES!"
[both erupt in laughter]
Luke: "Your turn now."
Beth: "How many motorcycles can fit on the roof?"
Luke: "Of what? The car?"
Beth: "The roof of that building right there."
Luke: "Okay. What are my choices?"
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Filed under: silly games conversation questions answers multiple choice fun nonsense kids child children childhood parents parenting parenthood fathers fathering fatherhood car driving dads back seat
July 23, 2012  |  9:18am
Nonsense
Luke: [age 7, improvising a song] "You know what I like, like like? I like poisonous electrocution with afros!"
Me: "Come on, now, that's just total nonsense coming out of your mouth."
Luke: "Total nonsense? That's the point of a boy! All my words are To Stupidity and Beyond!"
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Filed under: boy child children childhood nonsense silliness improvisation song singing lyrics stupidity crazy dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood silly
May 3, 2012  |  9:01am
Girls are never silly
Me: "Who do you think is more silly, you or me?"
Beth: [age 3] "You!"
Me: "What? Me? But you're silly too."
Beth: "No. Girls are never silly. Girls are always serious. But boys are always silly. So that means you are more silly than me."
Me: "You're /never/ silly?!"
Beth: "I'm /never/ silly. I am always very serious when I'm silly."
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Filed under: girls silly play serious child children childhood kids parents parenting parenthood fathers fathering fatherhood dads more boys
March 31, 2012  |  9:00am
Clean the butterfly
Mom: "One, two."
Beth: [age 3] "Buckle my shoe!"
Mom: "Three, four."
Beth: "Shut the door!"
Mom: "Five, six!"
Beth: "Pick up sticks!"
Mom: "Seven, eight!"
Beth: "Clean the butterfly!"
Mom: "What?!"
Beth: "I said, clean the butterfly!"
Mom: "Nine, ten?"
Beth: "Clean the butterfly!"
Mom: "You're silly!"
Beth: "That's me!"
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Filed under: butterfly counting sing songs rhyme child children childhood parents parenting parenthood kids girls moms fathers fatherhood fathering silly