May 17, 2013  |  9:45am
"THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE! This is the last piece of french toast alive on earth, and IT’S ALL MINE! MINE MINE MINE!"

— Beth, age 4, while holding a bite of french toast on the end of her fork above her head like a champion’s Olympic torch. She then devoured it and began cackling maniacally.

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May 15, 2013  |  2:14pm
Songs of the Girl, Part 3

If you have followed this blog for any period of time, you know my kids improvise songs quite regularly, especially when they are alone. Especially on the toilet. And especially quite loudly. I haven’t been writing down the lyrics as much as I’d like, but here is the latest set from Beth, age 4:

  1. Rayco the pet acorn,
    He’s my cute pet acorn,
    He came down from the leaves
    To be with me, me, meeeeee!
     
  2. Every number has a name.
    Every number has a dream.
    If they don’t be careful,
    They’re going to drown in the pool.
     
  3. Sherpa wool, sherpa wool,
    Is different from the snow.
    Sherpa wool, sherpa wool,
    Is the same color as the snow.
    Sherpa wool, sherpa wool,
    Is different from the snow.
    Snow falls from the sky,
    Sherpa wool doesn’t.
    Sherpa wool, sherpa wool, SHERPA WOOOOOOL!
     
  4. Bird beaks go to meat meat,
    And then they toot toot toot.
     
  5. I just came up to get a brush,
    And nosy where to there?
    I just came up to get a brush,
    And nosy where to there!
    (repeat 50x)
     
  6. Sun strings, sun strings,
    Shine through everythings,
    It’s really weird that the sun is hot
    And I don’t understand it but
    The sun is as bright as me!
     

Various past lyrics:

I should probably compile all these into one page, eh?

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May 14, 2013  |  3:55pm

Not everyone will appreciate this, but these kids have rhythm. I shared Khaliyl’s original video in 2011, when he was 2 years old.

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May 9, 2013  |  2:08pm
More About Sex
[Scene: I have disabled internet access on his iPod Touch, but Luke, age 8, still has plenty of apps. One of them is the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, which I was using to look up a word...]
Me: "Hey Luke? What are all these words under 'recent searches'?"
Luke: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, there's 'sex' and 'sex act' and 'sex symbol'... looks like a couple of dozen words related to sex."
Luke: [acting alarmed] "I don't know! I didn't look those up!"
Me: "Hmmm... except for me once in awhile, you're the only one who uses this."
Luke: "I didn't do it! It wasn't me! I think s-e-x is disgusting!"
Me: [puts down the device] "Look. You're not in trouble. I just want you to know that if you ever have any questions about sex, you can talk to me or Mom, okay? The only way you will get in trouble right now is if you lie to me, and then you'll only be in trouble for lying, not for using a dictionary."
Luke: "But why are all those words in the dictionary? They're gross!"
Me: "It's a dictionary. Its job is to explain what words mean, and all those are real words that people use."
Luke: [taking a deep breath] "Okay. I did read all those words. But none of them explained anything I wanted."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Luke: "I was reading all those definitions because I was hoping one of them would explain why the whole world is so interested in sex! I don't understand it! Sex is gross! And kids at school are always talking about sex even though they totally don't understand it. And there's magazine covers and people having sex in movies and all of it. But none of the definitions said anything about WHY people like sex! It's all about HOW and WHAT and stuff."
Me: "Well... the simple answer is that our brains change as you get older and you find sex more interesting."
Luke: "My brain is going to change?"
Me: "Yeah. Lots of things change in your body as you get older, including your brain."
Luke: "And then it will make sense to me why everyone is interested in sex?"
Me: "Basically."
Luke: "Does this happen to girls too?"
Me: "Yes."
Luke: "So is it one of those things that doesn't make any sense from the outside, but once you're in it, it makes a lot of sense?"
Me: "I won't promise you that it will always makes sense, but it will make a lot more sense, I think."
Luke: "Man, life is weird."
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May 7, 2013  |  9:14am

I apologize for sharing this commercial for a British drink product, but the ending actually got to me. Nicely done, Robinsons.

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May 6, 2013  |  9:46am
"It’s not a weed, it’s just wild. Sometimes flowers need to be wild, and being wild makes them even more beautiful."

— Beth, age 4, trying to convince me to not pull up a dandelion

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