Me: "Hold on, there's something on your nose." [gets tissue] "Gross. It's a boy booger!"
Luke: [age 8] "Oh yeah? Look who's talking!"
Me: "I don't have boy boogers."
Luke: "But you're a boy!"
Me: "No, I'm a man. I have man boogers."
Luke: [giggling] "Man boogers?"
Me: "Yep. My boogers can beat up your boogers."
Luke: "MAN BOOGERS?!"
Mom: [popping head in the room] "What's all the laughing in here?"
Luke: "Dad has MAN BOOGERS!!"
Mom: [giving me The Look] "This is not helpful, dear."
Spike Cannon, Part 2
Beth: [age 4] "Remember, I'm Spike Cannon, the superhero!"
Mom: "What does Spike Cannon wear?"
Beth: "She has a cape that is brown and blue, and she has black hair."
Luke: [age 7] "Does she wear anything else besides a cape? Or is she a naked superhero?"
Beth: "She's not naked! But her cape is sparkly. She has a dress with all these fire decorations and power decorations on it. And a hat."
Mom: "What kind of hat?"
Beth: "It's like that hat you wear to the beach..."
Mom: "A sun hat?"
Beth: "Yes! A sun hat. But it has fire decorations and sparkles."
Luke: "Does she wear boots?"
Beth: "She doesn't wear boots. She wears a special kind of shoes that I made up. I can fly with them. They have fire wings this wide." [stretches hands out] "She also wears pants. And socks! I almost forgot socks."
Mom: "You can fly?!"
Beth: "Yes. I'll show you sometime. But not today."
Zebra
Mom: "Okay, it's my turn. I'm thinking of an animal that is black and white with a stripe."
Beth: [age 4] "Hmm... is it a zebra?"
Mom: "No, smaller than a zebra."
Beth: "A baby zebra?"
Celebrating
[Scene: Luke, age 7, is making farting noises]
Me: "Will you please stop making those noises?"
Luke: "Why?"
Me: "It's gross, and it's really loud."
Luke: "But it's Mother's Day."
Me: "What does /that/ have to do with it?!"
Luke: "It's a holiday. That means I get to celebrate. And this is how I want to."
Me: "You're going to be celebrating in your room by yourself if you keep this up. Not exactly what you want to be doing on Mother's Day."
Luke: "Just one more?"
Me: "One more."
Luke: [does it]
Me: "Okay, that's all for today."
Luke: "I can't promise that. I might feel like celebrating again later."
Happy Mother’s Day!

To all the moms out there — please, have a good one. You’re important. You do important work.

And to everyone honoring a mom, do something nice for her. And then do something nice for moms all over the world. As I suggested earlier: plant a virtual flower with EngenderHealth to raise money for maternal health around the world (it’s free to you!), or donate to women in war-torn countries with Women for Women, or buy a goat for a poor family through World Vision.  It’s a big world with a lot of moms, and you can help make it better for them.