December 11, 2012  |  8:30am
"You know what really scatters my mind? To think that we almost aren’t really here. We’re just tiny specks walking around on a little blue speck flying through the universe! I mean, that’s just crazy!"

— Luke, age 8

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June 23, 2012  |  9:38am
Shabazla!
Beth: [age 4, holding up a stuffed animal] "The frog says, SHABAZLA!"
Me: "Shabazla? What does that mean?"
Beth: "It's part of finch!"
Me: "This is the first I've heard about it. What is finch?"
Beth: "It's part of kamuka!"
Me: "Oh, we're back to kamuka again. What does kamuka mean?"
Beth: "It's part of shabazla!"
Me: "But what does it /mean/?"
Beth: "It means kissing frogs. And chicken butts. And lollipops. And fish."
Me: "So, basically, everything."
Beth: "Yes! Shabazla!"
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May 7, 2012  |  9:03am
Do you know the f-word?
Luke: [age 7] "Do you know the f-word?"
Me: "The one that rhymes with 'truck'?"
Luke: "Yeah, that one. What does it mean?"
Me: "It has lots of meanings, I guess. Originally it meant to have sex."
Luke: "But why is it a bad word?"
Me: "I don't know why some words become worse than others. It's just a more crude way of saying the same thing."
Luke: "Oh. Like how 'fart' means the same thing as 'toot' but it's kind of a more nasty way of saying it."
Me: "Yes, like that. Actually there are a lot of words for sex. Remember yesterday, when Grandpa was talking about two animals 'humping' each other, and you asked me what that meant, and I said I'd explain it to you later when your sister wasn't around? 'Hump' is another word for having sex. There are lots of words like that."
Luke: "But that's not as bad as the f-word?"
Me: "Not really, but sex is a private thing anyway, so it's not something you should be talking about except in private. Of course, 'hump' has other meanings which don't have anything to do with sex. Like humps on a camel."
Luke: "Does the f-word mean anything else?"
Me: "Well... it's a swear word. A kind of a word called an 'expletive'."
Luke: "An expletive? Like, it explodes?"
Me: "Sort of. Most of the time, expletives are words you use when you have so much emotion and meaning all at once that you don't know what else to say. Sometimes I swear if I stub my toe and it really hurts. It just comes out of my mouth. I guess you could say it explodes out of my mouth. Boom."
Luke: "Oh, it's like when I ran into the door at school the other day and said the h-word. It just popped out of my mouth. I didn't even know I was saying it until I had already said it."
Me: "Yeah, it's like that. Of course, when someone says the f-word as an expletive, they're not usually thinking of literal, actual sex. It's just meant to be emotional. It's also usually really negative, though sometimes people mean it in a really positive way."
Luke: "Huh? A positive swear word?"
Me: "That's the way they mean it, but there's pretty much always a better way to say it."
[pause]
Luke: "So... what other swear words do you know?"
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September 25, 2011  |  8:05am
Butt stinkin' boo hoo
Luke: [age 6] "My new motto is: be good, or be BUTT-STINKIN' BOO HOO!"
Me: "Huh? What does THAT mean?!"
Luke: "I don't know. It just sounds funny."
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July 19, 2011  |  3:05pm
Genderkind
[Scene: Luke, age 6, is looking over my shoulder while I'm working]
Luke: [pointing] "How do you say that word?"
Me: "Gender."
Luke: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It's one way of describing what kind of person you are. Your gender is 'boy'. So is mine. But your sister and Mom are 'girl'."
Luke: "Like when they say 'mankind'. Or they could say 'girlkind'. But then maybe they should say 'boykind' instead."
Me: "Or just 'people'."
Luke: "Yeah. But not including the dog. His gender is just 'boy.'"
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