January 12, 2013  |  8:30am
Beth, age 4, tells me that Cat In the Hat and Bessie the Bunny are getting married today. It will be a small, private ceremony. I believe the only ones invited are Beth, myself, and a few close friends: Big Dog, Little Dog, Juju the Snow Monkey, Spotlock the Mouse, Prancer the Ginger Cat, and possibly Arrow the Chameleon. No word yet on the happy couple’s intentions regarding honeymoons, housing, children, joint checking accounts, and so on. I expect they will be able to live quite comfortably off of Cat’s television appearances and Bessie’s modeling career.

Beth, age 4, tells me that Cat In the Hat and Bessie the Bunny are getting married today. It will be a small, private ceremony. I believe the only ones invited are Beth, myself, and a few close friends: Big Dog, Little Dog, Juju the Snow Monkey, Spotlock the Mouse, Prancer the Ginger Cat, and possibly Arrow the Chameleon.

No word yet on the happy couple’s intentions regarding honeymoons, housing, children, joint checking accounts, and so on. I expect they will be able to live quite comfortably off of Cat’s television appearances and Bessie’s modeling career.

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Filed under: kids child children childhood girls toys stuffed animals cat in the hat cat bunny rabbit stuffed animal dog monkey snow monkey chameleon marriage married wedding ceremony dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenthood parenting picture
January 9, 2013  |  1:47pm
Oh Come On, Dads: Female Breadwinners Still Do Most Of The Housework

According to this article…

Stay-at-home dads have gotten a lot of airtime in the last few years, making it easy to assume that when straight women become breadwinners, their male partners pick up the slack at home. But new research shows that at least for working-class couples, that isn’t really the case — even when women make more money, men still leave the majority of housework to them.

That’s not true in my house. I do at least two-thirds of the cooking and laundry, for example. But I wasn’t always all that. We’ve been married more than 15 years and it took me a long time to fully recognize the need for this level of effort from me.

Dads, we can do better.

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July 19, 2012  |  8:53am
Kids talk about love

These aren’t from my kids, but maybe I should ask…

How Do You Decide Whom To Marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. (Alan, 10)

The Personal Qualities Necessary To Be A Good Lover?
One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills. (Ava, 8)

What Do Most People Do On A Date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. (Lynnette, 8)

How Would You Make A Marriage Work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. (Ricky, 10)

How To Make Love Endure?
Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash. (Randy, 8)

These and a lot more are at Jumbo Joke, here and here.

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March 1, 2012  |  9:00am
Beauty and the Beast
Luke: [age 7] "There's one thing I have always wondered. In the movie 'Beauty and the Beast,' they get married at the end. But what happens if they split up? What if the prince ever divorces Belle? Does he turn back into a beast? They never explore this question."
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Filed under: beast beauty beauty and the beast belle boys child childhood children dads disney divorce fatherhood fathering fathers kids marriage movie parenthood parenting parents oneliner
June 5, 2011  |  3:06pm
Swift Bieber
[Scene: Luke, age 6, after getting off the bus from school]
Luke: "Do you know Taylor Swift?"
Me: "Uh... not personally. She's some kind of musician, right?"
Luke: "Yeah. You know [B...] at school? He says he has a crush on her."
Me: "Hmmm."
Luke: "And you know [S...]? *She* says she is in love with Justin Bieber. Do you know who he is?"
Me: "Another musician."
Luke: "I don't get all the crushes and love stuff. I wish Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift would get married, just to annoy everybody else."
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Filed under: bieber boys crush dads fathers girls justin bieber love marriage musician taylor swift swift kids parents parenting parenthood child children childhood
June 2, 2011  |  3:00pm
Pride comes before a fall
[Scene: Luke, age 5, returning from school]
Luke: “Today somebody said, 'pride comes before a fall.'”
Me: “Do you know what that means?”
Luke: “I think it means you have to get married before you can get divorced.”
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Filed under: boys pride fall married divorced marriage divorce dads fathers kids parents parenting parenthood child children childhood