May 23, 2013  |  1:18pm

Video: Convos With My 2 Year Old

I seriously laughed out loud. I may need to try this with some of the classic And I’m the Dad posts.

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May 23, 2013  |  6:30am
"Learning cursive is a waste of time. It takes me so long to draw all those curves right. I could spend that time doing something that was, you know, actually useful in the real world."

— Luke, age 8, complaining about his homework

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Filed under: homework letters lettering cursive writing handwriting school education class waste time useful complaint kids child children childhood boys dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood
May 22, 2013  |  6:30am
Have you ever checked your wallet and wondered where all your money went? Luke, age 8, was totally feeling that way this past weekend. With my help, he recently sold about $250 worth of toys on eBay. Then he bought himself a new skateboard, a skate jump, some new Legos, and a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. But then he was shocked to find he only had $66 left in his wallet. He swore that somebody must’ve stolen his money. We did the math for him, providing estimates of his spending on three occasions, and the math worked out almost to the dollar. But he remained unconvinced. His final act of irritation was to write in extra large letters that “half of my mony [sic] is g-o-n-e”! Sorry kid. The math doesn’t lie. But I know exactly how you feel. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better.

Have you ever checked your wallet and wondered where all your money went?

Luke, age 8, was totally feeling that way this past weekend. With my help, he recently sold about $250 worth of toys on eBay. Then he bought himself a new skateboard, a skate jump, some new Legos, and a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. But then he was shocked to find he only had $66 left in his wallet. He swore that somebody must’ve stolen his money.

We did the math for him, providing estimates of his spending on three occasions, and the math worked out almost to the dollar. But he remained unconvinced. His final act of irritation was to write in extra large letters that “half of my mony [sic] is g-o-n-e”!

Sorry kid. The math doesn’t lie. But I know exactly how you feel. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better.

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May 19, 2013  |  6:22am
Beth: [age 4] "Let's play a game."
Me: "Okay. What do you want to play?"
Beth: "Let's play that aliens are attacking us. And we're tigers who have to fight them. And I'm your sidekick."
Me: "That sounds cool. Do we have names?"
Beth: "Yes! Your name is Azore."
Me: "Azore... that sounds cool. So what's your name?"
Beth: "Scratchypants."
Me: "Scratchypants? My sidekick's name is Scratchypants?"
Beth: "If this is going to be a problem, then maybe you should find a new sidekick."
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May 18, 2013  |  6:30am
Beth: [age 4, holding up a book] "Let's read another book. This one is really funny."
Me: "No, not right now."
Beth: "Just one more!"
Me: "You said that before the last book."
Beth: "But this time I really mean it. PLEASE?"
Me: "No, I need a break."
Beth: "Just one book!"
Me: "I read you five books in a row. Let's take a break."
Beth: [slyly] "If you don't read me another book, Mom is going to be mad at you."
Me: "No, she won't."
Beth: "Oh yes she will. I'm going to tell her all about it and she's going to be mad at you."
Me: "I doubt it."
Beth: "You're gonna be in trouble, mister!"
Me: "I'm not reading you another book right now. That's it. Stop asking."
Beth: "I'm just trying to help you stay out of trouble."
Me: "Clever, but no. We can sit and talk, or we can go play on the piano, or we can go outside. You decide."
Beth: [hopefully] "Read a book?"
Me: "NO."
Beth: [patting my arm] "Oh Daddy. Don't say I didn't warn you."
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Filed under: book reading books persistence trouble moms dads kids child children childhood parents parenting parenthood fathers fathering fatherhood library persistent
May 17, 2013  |  9:45am
"THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE! This is the last piece of french toast alive on earth, and IT’S ALL MINE! MINE MINE MINE!"

— Beth, age 4, while holding a bite of french toast on the end of her fork above her head like a champion’s Olympic torch. She then devoured it and began cackling maniacally.

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