May 17, 2013  |  3:22pm
More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disorder

CHICKEN BUTT!

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Filed under: butt chicken theonion link play satire youthful tendency disorder
July 16, 2012  |  8:42am
Luke almost always orders salads when we go out to dinner. Seriously. Even the last time he went to McDonald’s, he ordered a salad. “Happy Meals are for little kids,” he said, “and the toys are stupid.” But the boy loves vegetables. This pic is from last night: a grilled chicken salad at a local pub. I wanted to order something really unhealthy for myself, but come on: am I gonna let a 7-year-old show me up?!

Luke almost always orders salads when we go out to dinner. Seriously. Even the last time he went to McDonald’s, he ordered a salad. “Happy Meals are for little kids,” he said, “and the toys are stupid.”

But the boy loves vegetables. This pic is from last night: a grilled chicken salad at a local pub. I wanted to order something really unhealthy for myself, but come on: am I gonna let a 7-year-old show me up?!

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Filed under: chicken vegetables food eat kids boys child
April 18, 2012  |  8:58am
Constipated chicken
Luke: [age 7] "You know my friend [C...] at school? Today he made a noise and I said he sounded like a constipated chicken."
Me: "Oh? What's a constipated chicken sound like?"
Luke: "I don't know. Maybe BOK BOK BOK I GOTTA GO! -- or SQUAWK BOK BOK HELP ME SOMEBODY! WHERES THE BOK BOK BOK BATHROOM! Like that."
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Filed under: chicken constipated poop sound bathroom help squawk kids boys child children childhood parents parenting parenthood fathers fathering fatherhood noises noise animals
March 25, 2012  |  9:00am
Explain kamuka again
Mom: "Explain 'kamuka' again."
Beth: [age 3] "Leaves and chicken butts!"
Mom: "Really? Kamuka is leaves and chicken butts?"
Beth: "No, but I don't want to tell you the truth."
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March 13, 2012  |  9:00am
Chacka wacka!
Beth: [age 3] "Chacka wacka kacka!"
Me: "What does that mean?"
Beth: "It means KAMUKA!"
Me: "Oh no, not that again. What does kamuka mean?"
Beth: "I don't know!"
Me: "Really? I thought it had something to do with a turtle, or a blind guy, or something."
Beth: "It means CHICKEN FEATHERS!"
Me: "Chicken feathers?!"
Beth: "Just kidding! Nobody knows what kamuka means!"
Me: "Not even you?"
Beth: "It means chacka wacka, chawacka maKACKA!"
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January 19, 2012  |  11:00am
General Tso's Butt
Luke: [age 7] "I still think we could get rid of the letter 'c'. We can just have 's' and 'k'."
Mom: "That's fine for the long-s and hard-k sounds, but what about the 'ch' sound? If you take out the 'c' then 'chicken' becomes 'hicken'."
Luke: "Oh wow. And 'choo choo' becomes 'hoo hoo'."
Me: "And 'chair' turns into 'hair'."
Luke: "'Chocolate' becomes 'hocolate'."
Me: "Your cheeks would turn into 'heeks'."
Luke: "And Chinese food would turn into 'hinese' food! Hineys!? That means butts! Hey, anybody want to eat General Tso's butt?"
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Filed under: alphabet letters lettering c ch sound spelling literary chinese chicken kids child children childhood boys dads fathers fathering fatherhood parents parenting parenthood eat