CHICKEN BUTT!
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I have two kids who constantly amaze me. They say things which make me think, "If I don't write this down now, I will kick myself later." Read more here.
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More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disorder
While waiting for the bus, Luke — now 8 years old and in third grade — mentioned that a kid at his school was constantly “humping” things. I asked if he knew what it meant. He knew it had something to do with sex, which I confirmed. This kid also talked about “teabagging,” and Luke didn’t know what that was. I told him it also had to do with sex but I wasn’t going to explain things like that at a bus stop. Anyway, to me, questions like this confirm our decision to have the first “sex talk” with him nearly a year ago…
Luke: “And can we stop talking about sex? And petrified pee-pees?”
Me: “Yes. What would you like to talk about now?”
Luke: “Butt jokes.”
Read the whole thing here.
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Luke, the 8-year-old, has been having intestinal issues lately. We’ve tried different things, but now I’m thinking of a new book series… first one to be called, “If You Give Your Son a Suppository.”
I don’t want to give away the ending but he doesn’t ask for another.
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"I wonder if anyone could go a whole day without farting. I don’t think so. They would need a superpower to do that, some kind of amazing superhuman control over their butt. I definitely couldn’t do it."
— Luke, age 8
URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexdSkVuh
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Songs of the Boy, Part 8
More lines from Luke’s improvised singing:
- Welcome to the Buttcheek Rodeo / Hang on and watch out!
- Polly ain’t getting a waffle from Daddy today!
- A billion barnacle buckteeth can’t be wrong.
- Once when I was a child / There was poop on the ceiling.
Past lyrics from Luke: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.
For songs from Beth, see 1, 2, and this Thanksgiving thing.
Also, inexplicably, this.
URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexZEsLkH
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Growth spurt
| Me: | "Why are your pants halfway down your butt?" |
| Luke: | [age 8] "I had a growth spurt. It was really fast. I grew right out of my pants!" |
URL: http://tmblr.co/ZJZiexWjfXPJ
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