and I’m the dad.

Video: Convos With My 2 Year Old I seriously laughed out loud. I...

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:18:40 -0400

Video: Convos With My 2 Year Old

I seriously laughed out loud. I may need to try this with some of the classic And I’m the Dad posts.

Mother has son arrested for stealing her Pop-Tarts

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:19:00 -0400

Mother has son arrested for stealing her Pop-Tarts:

A Charlotte woman had her son arrested for stealing her Pop-Tarts earlier this week.

This is just pathetic.

Ma’am, if your parenting skills require police intervention against your juvenile children, you have far bigger problems than some missing Pop-Tarts.

"Learning cursive is a waste of time. It takes me so long to draw all those curves right. I could..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 06:30:21 -0400

““Learning cursive is a waste of time. It takes me so long to draw all those curves right. I could spend that time doing something that was, you know, actually useful in the real world.””

- Luke, age 8, complaining about his homework

Have you ever checked your wallet and wondered where all your...

Wed, 22 May 2013 06:30:31 -0400

Have you ever checked your wallet and wondered where all your money went?

Luke, age 8, was totally feeling that way this past weekend. With my help, he recently sold about $250 worth of toys on eBay. Then he bought himself a new skateboard, a skate jump, some new Legos, and a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. But then he was shocked to find he only had $66 left in his wallet. He swore that somebody must’ve stolen his money.

We did the math for him, providing estimates of his spending on three occasions, and the math worked out almost to the dollar. But he remained unconvinced. His final act of irritation was to write in extra large letters that “half of my mony [sic] is g-o-n-e”!

Sorry kid. The math doesn’t lie. But I know exactly how you feel. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better.

electradaddy replied to your post: Narcotics. FYI, I now have a bottle of vicodine… thank...

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:51:56 -0400

electradaddy replied to your post:

Narcotics.

FYI, I now have a bottle of vicodine… thank you, doctor.

electradaddy replied to your post: HMOG. A man my age does not fall off a… Ouch. I hope...

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:40:00 -0400

electradaddy replied to your post: HMOG. A man my age does not fall off a…

Ouch. I hope you’re ok. At my age bones break too easily for me to risk such activities.

I don’t think I broke anything. I was wearing protective gear, and without it I almost certainly would have broken my arm, but instead I pushed my shoulder into an unnatural position while driving my elbow pad into my chest. I have major muscle pain. Hurts to breathe or move.

This morning, a friend of mine sympathized with my pain and lauded me for modeling good skateboarding practices by wearing protective gear. It’s a great example for my kids, she said. I get that, but now I’ve got to model good pain management practice that somehow avoids shouting expletives every time I move.

"I think you forgot how much it hurts to hurt."

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:32:25 -0400

““I think you forgot how much it hurts to hurt.””

- my wife, in response to my comment that I knew skateboarding was going to hurt now and then, but…

H.M.O.G. A man my age does not fall off a skateboard lightly.

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:55:00 -0400

H.M.O.G.

A man my age does not fall off a skateboard lightly.

Beth: [age 4] "Let's play a game."

Sun, 19 May 2013 06:22:35 -0400

Beth: [age 4] "Let's play a game."
Me: "Okay. What do you want to play?"
Beth: "Let's play that aliens are attacking us. And we're tigers who have to fight them. And I'm your sidekick."
Me: "That sounds cool. Do we have names?"
Beth: "Yes! Your name is Azore."
Me: "Azore... that sounds cool. So what's your name?"
Beth: "Scratchypants."
Me: "Scratchypants? My sidekick's name is Scratchypants?"
Beth: "If this is going to be a problem, then maybe you should find a new sidekick."

electradaddy replied to your link: More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency...

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:40:02 -0400

electradaddy replied to your link: More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disord

I wanted to name one of my twins “Chicken-Butt” but DynaPapa wouldn’t let me.

Obviously DynaPapa doesn’t have the same foresight and vision that you do!

This is what My Little Pony dreams about, I’m sure.

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:54:03 -0400

This is what My Little Pony dreams about, I’m sure.

Beth: [age 4, holding up a book] "Let's read another book. This one is really funny."

Sat, 18 May 2013 06:30:17 -0400

Beth: [age 4, holding up a book] "Let's read another book. This one is really funny."
Me: "No, not right now."
Beth: "Just one more!"
Me: "You said that before the last book."
Beth: "But this time I really mean it. PLEASE?"
Me: "No, I need a break."
Beth: "Just one book!"
Me: "I read you five books in a row. Let's take a break."
Beth: [slyly] "If you don't read me another book, Mom is going to be mad at you."
Me: "No, she won't."
Beth: "Oh yes she will. I'm going to tell her all about it and she's going to be mad at you."
Me: "I doubt it."
Beth: "You're gonna be in trouble, mister!"
Me: "I'm not reading you another book right now. That's it. Stop asking."
Beth: "I'm just trying to help you stay out of trouble."
Me: "Clever, but no. We can sit and talk, or we can go play on the piano, or we can go outside. You decide."
Beth: [hopefully] "Read a book?"
Me: "NO."
Beth: [patting my arm] "Oh Daddy. Don't say I didn't warn you."

More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disorder

Fri, 17 May 2013 15:22:16 -0400

More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disorder:

CHICKEN BUTT!

Free Tee Friday!

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:58:12 -0400

threadless:

This week’s Free Tee Friday is brought to you by the great city of Monstropolis!

Reblog this post for a chance to win any of our new Monsters Inc. tees in your size. Don’t worry, we told Roz there wouldn’t be any paperwork involved!

And if I win, I’m getting one of these for myself. Forget the kids.

"THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE! This is the last piece of french toast alive on earth, and IT’S ALL..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 09:45:41 -0400

““THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE! This is the last piece of french toast alive on earth, and IT’S ALL MINE! MINE MINE MINE!””

- Beth, age 4, while holding a bite of french toast on the end of her fork above her head like a champion’s Olympic torch. She then devoured it and began cackling maniacally.

electradaddy replied to your video: Not everyone will appreciate this, but these kids… I...

Thu, 16 May 2013 05:38:53 -0400

electradaddy replied to your video: Not everyone will appreciate this, but these kids…

I thought it was cool.

So did I, but I got some “huh?” responses from people i originally shared it with.

Musical heathens, I guess.

punkdad: Reblog this if you are a DAD blog and want other dads (or moms) to follow. There are...

Thu, 16 May 2013 04:37:02 -0400

punkdad:

Reblog this if you are a DAD blog and want other dads (or moms) to follow.

There are more of us than you think.

Dad bloggers, untie!

Damned dyslexia. I mean: unite!

iloverockandroll1977 replied to your post: Songs of the Girl, Part 3 Your posts usually...

Wed, 15 May 2013 16:44:18 -0400

iloverockandroll1977 replied to your post: Songs of the Girl, Part 3

Your posts usually make my day. I just woke my kid up laughing at “Sherpa Wool”

Yeah, I find them pretty amusing myself, hearing them live. Some day I will have to post an audio recording, because they make up a melody at the same time. (usually it’s terrible)

And sorry about waking up your kid. Please don’t hold it against me. :-)

Songs of the Girl, Part 3

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:14:00 -0400

If you have followed this blog for any period of time, you know my kids improvise songs quite regularly, especially when they are alone. Especially on the toilet. And especially quite loudly. I haven’t been writing down the lyrics as much as I’d like, but here is the latest set from Beth, age 4:

Rayco the pet acorn,
He’s my cute pet acorn,
He came down from the leaves
To be with me, me, meeeeee!
Every number has a name.
Every number has a dream.
If they don’t be careful,
They’re going to drown in the pool.
Sherpa wool, sherpa wool,
Is different from the snow.
Sherpa wool, sherpa wool,
Is the same color as the snow.
Sherpa wool, sherpa wool,
Is different from the snow.
Snow falls from the sky,
Sherpa wool doesn’t.
Sherpa wool, sherpa wool, SHERPA WOOOOOOL!
Bird beaks go to meat meat,
And then they toot toot toot.
I just came up to get a brush,
And nosy where to there?
I just came up to get a brush,
And nosy where to there!
(repeat 50x)
Sun strings, sun strings,
Shine through everythings,
It’s really weird that the sun is hot
And I don’t understand it but
The sun is as bright as me!

Various past lyrics:

From Beth: 1, 2, and this Thanksgiving thing.
From Luke: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
Also this.

I should probably compile all these into one page, eh?

Not everyone will appreciate this, but these kids have rhythm. I...

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:55:00 -0400

Not everyone will appreciate this, but these kids have rhythm. I shared Khaliyl’s original video in 2011, when he was 2 years old.