I’m having The Sex Talk with Luke today. It is definitely due. My wife and I have already decided a few points:
- Boys should hear about sex from their dads, and girls should hear it from their moms. I don’t think this is sexist; rather, it’s about presenting a good role model. Alternatively, both parents should be present. Either way, the information should be the same, and the child should know that the parent is speaking for both parents.
- Biologically, sex is how people make babies. In fact, all living things reproduce, and most of them need two parents. Moms and dads each have half the information to start a baby, and you’ve got to get that information together.
- Luke already knows that men have penises and women have vaginas; these are among the major differences between the genders. So, sex involves these body parts. Breasts are also sexual body parts.
- Sex is also really fun and enjoyable; grown-ups like having sex. Luke has already heard the word “sexy” a lot from kids at school (!), and he’s seen people dressing in a “sexy” way (e.g. in public). They do that because they like sex.
- Sex should be something special between two people. It’s something people do together when they want to do it. As Christians, we believe sex is meant for marriage. But lots of people don’t agree, which is why you hear and see lots of sex-related things on TV or in magazines or from other kids. Frankly sex is pretty distorted by most of the world, in one way or the other.
- If he has any questions, he should talk to us. We’ll answer all questions plainly and honestly.
It’s not appropriate to talk to a 7-year-old about contraception, STDs, pornography, or a lot of other sexual topics. This is just an introduction. Basically, we don’t want him to first hear about sex from anyone else. He needs to hear it from us, to know that it’s something we can talk about it. We need to stake out this territory in his mind so that every other thing he hears about sex will be framed by the knowledge that his parents already introduced this topic, and he should be comfortable talking to us if any new ideas don’t fit or sound weird. I sure as hell am not leaving it to the media, Hollywood, music, school, or religion to explain this to my kids.
If I get any interesting tidbits, you can be sure I’ll report back.
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